A thank you, to you - my Dear Reader.

Also, a discount on my upcoming Poetry Book!

A few days ago, I hit 4-months of posting here on Substack.

I mentioned it today, and possibly at various points in the past, but I started this account for two reasons.

One - I wanted a secondary place to post my poetry, and hopefully garner a bit of attention before I finished assembling my debut poetry book; “A Flat White; Medium, Half Sugar”.

Two - I wanted to also procrastinate formatting said book, as “I have plenty of time before the 1st of July!”. Which, is the date I set myself to have the formatting/manuscript done by - and look, it will be done by. I just don’t work well with time limits that are about 80% longer than they should be.

And this project - the poetry book - is one that I can guarantee either has, or will, shock a lot of my friends. I am not a ‘poetry guy’ by any stretch of the imagination. Although, as I type that, I don’t know what a Poetry Guy would be. But I would like to stress that NONE of these poems were written whilst I was under the influence of disgusting, illegal, Marijuana!! (Narrator: The author here is clearly alluding to the fact that some poems may or may not have been written on either/or/both spirits and benzodiazipines).

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I digress. Substack has given me a voice. YOU, my dear reader, have given me a voice; you edged an ear towards me, for me to direct said voice at. I’ll never stop thanking you, or being grateful for that.

I began by writing an article about gambling in Australia.

Then gambling in America; albeit on planes.

None of these felt real to me. I couldn’t connect! The Australian article was about gambling ads - they never made me gamble. The American one...well, you can guess why that didn’t feel authentic to me.

So, I tried to write from the heart.

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The relief that flooded through me when I hit post on that first “authentic” piece was incredible. It came after my article post, found below.

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Which in itself, was the result of self discovery. No, my first authentic piece hit me while I was in the shower. In true ADHD fashion, rather than let it fade in my head over the next 3 to 4 seconds, I leapt out of the show and grabbed my phone. This is, almost word for word, what I typed out (whilst drowning the carpet below me).

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Something clicked for me. This became another therapy for me, personally, and I still stand strongly behind that statement.

I’ve since learnt that perhaps my High School English teachers were right. I was, when given the chance to write freely, a solid B+ student. This was with me writing just as I do here on Substack - with one draft, and a final touch-up moments before submitting.

I say this full of self-love — I am not an A-level student, when it comes to English. I am, however, a solid mid-level writer. I never really have been. Which benefits you, too. You may never been absolutely blown away by my writing; though at the same time, I can guarantee you’ll never have to google the meaning of a fancy word I’ve used. Simply because I won’t have used it in the first place.

In saying that though, I’ve written some things since that have blown even my mind.

And.

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I mean this with absolutely none of my own head up my own ass - these are the best non-fiction, non-humerous things I have ever written. They challenge me today.

That was, as you may know, something that challenged me recently. How can I, Sean Corcoran, 28-year-old male from Brisbane, Australia, be the writer I needed to be reading 4 years ago.

The answer? Through SeekingHopePoetry’s first book - and through my writings here at “I Wouldn’t Bet on It” on Substack.

Again, this isn’t an ego thing. I didn’t need amazing writing. I didn’t need amazing metaphors or anything like that.

I simply needed a young, ex-addict to be writing with full transparency. Hopefully some similar things to what I went for, but brutal honesty being the key. Gambling is a lonely addiction. I needed to have someone I felt would understand me.

On the internet, I had no-one. There was no-one being completely open and honest, regularly, who was younger than 25.

(Note: I have since found ODAAT-Awareness run by Rob, on Youtube).

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So, here I sit. Content. For the night at least.

When I was at the depths of my addiction, I prayed a lot. Sometimes, asking for a bet to win big - I won’t lie. Some might say God laughed at me for asking - I’d like to think, perhaps, He cried.

I feel as though I am the writer I needed to read 4, 5, 6, 7, 8-years ago. I can only pray and hope that somewhere in my audience, or in the Reddit posts I make, or in the Facebook Gambling groups I post in - that there’s someone I’m writing to that benefits from my transparency.

Pounds of Flesh aren’t easy to keep cutting, but dreaming that this might all help someone makes it worthwhile.

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So, how can I help?

I hear you screaming that out! And, I appreciate it.

Well, look, I don’t see my time on Substack as being a business. All of my writings are 100% free to read, because - whilst reflecting on the “how can I be who I needed me to be?” - I realised that I would have both needed to read my writing, whilst also not being willing or able to shell out any cash for it.

Also, if I saw this as a business, I’d almost have to take my gambling financials into account - and trust me, no* business survives on starting over $300k in the red.

I write these articles in conjunction with a full-time job in an Ophthalmic Clinic. I don’t have the dream that many have - to quit and write full time. Too many people need me to see and chat to them in person. What I hope to do, in time, is go into work as a Gambling ‘Lived Experience’ helper. Not sure what exactly, but just somewhere that I can use my bad experiences to help others avoid them. FOR. FREE.

If you’re able to support my writing financially, I would absolutely love to have you join as a paid subscriber. I can’t offer you lots, as I will never paywall my content.

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But, from now until the book is released:

• Every paid monthly subscriber will receive an eBook copy of my upcoming Poetry Book.

• Every paid yearly subscriber will receive a copy of my paperback poetry book posted to them.

• Every paid founding subscriber will received a copy of my paperback poetry book posted to them, AND a copy of my second poetry book posted to them.

And look, I know this is asking a lot. I wish I could offer you access to secret things, but I can’t. I feel my calling here is to help guide those in gambling pits. I tried to kill myself twice - I know just how hard this addiction is.

All I can give you is consistency, and a discount.

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For those who want to help support my writing, I can offer a 50% discount on my Substack subscriptions.

And I know, it’d be cheaper to just buy the poetry book if you’d like to. So this is more for those who would like to support the OTHER side of my writing - the Substack, gritty, article posts about the real truth on just how low gambling took me.

The discount code is here (to my boomer Uncle, click on the orange ‘here’).

But, if you can’t afford it, I’m glad you're here. My inbox is always open - to anyone. Paid Subscriber, Free Subscriber? You’re all worth it to me. Shoot me a message :)

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If you can, please aim to give and support my writing.

If not? Welcome to the club! I’m just thankful to have you here.

Much love,

Sean.

Day 621.

P.S. If you donate >$30 on Buy Me a Coffee , the offer stands re: free book!

Thank you for putting up with me awkwardly asking for support. As someone who swore he would never ask for money again, it’s a weird feeling.